Sucroslis

The screams of pain as I slide my knife across her throat is like music to my ear.

 

“Warning, there is a mass murderer on the loose. We strongly advise that you should lock your doors and windows.”

 

“That’s complete poppycock.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my house?”

“I am Sacroslice and you are my latest victim in my murderous rampage across London, what is your name?”

“My name is Percy.”

“Well Percy, how would you like me to kill you? Stab stab? Or strangle strangle and chucked into the Thames?”

“Not really,” said Percy.

“Never mind, you don’t have a choice whether you live or die, only in how you die.”  

“Mummy, please help me, this maniac is  going to kill me, please help me,” moaned Percy.

“You are dead now,” as I, Sacroslice stabbed him six times in the throat and face, rivers of blood poured out of him, my ninth murder so far.

 

Leaving the body to be discovered I disappeared into the night.

6 hours later…

 

“Percy, where are you? Oh no, he’s dead, he’s dead,” lamented the Maid.

 

Two weeks later…

“Yet more victims have fallen to the deranged serial murderer who is now going by the name of Sacroslice. It is estimated that he has killed between 9 to11 people. It is advised that you lock and bar your doors and windows and always have a weapon to hand,” announced the Newsbroadcast.

 

“Oh look, it’s chubby chubby Charlie, where’s all the chocolate gone oh chubby Charlie must of eaten it,” sings Shalvey the neighbourhood bully.

“I’m not chubby, I’m big boned,” sobbed Charlie before running off.

 

“Why hello little boy. What are you doing out here in the middle of the day? Having lunch? Getting some chocolate?” asked some weird guy.

“My mummy says, don’t talk to strangers but you don’t seem half bad. What’s your name? Mine is Charlie.”

“Well Charlie, I am Sacroslice and I am going to murder you. What would you prefer, your choice?  Shoot and damp in river or kidnapped and  ransom demanded for your safe return to your parents? And if they don’t agree, I slowly cut off your body parts and send them to your parents and slowly up my price.”

HELP ME SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE I want my daddy,” yelled Charlie.

“Prepare to never see your family again Charlie,” said Sacroslice as he stabbed him over and over again before putting the body in a bin bag and tossing it into a nearby bin, then leaving.

 

“Mum, please stop Bob from hitting me with his teddy,” pleaded Pat.

“Now, now,  Patrick, he’s only 9 months old,” said mum.

“Get in the van now all of you or I’ll blow out your baby’s brain. I’m not kidding, I’m completely serious, don’t you even think about making a sound or your little baby Bob will die and it will be all your fault,” threatened Sacroslice as he escorted them to his van.

 

One hour later…

 

Sources have discovered that the mass murderer Sacroslice has kidnapped a family of six which includes a pair of 9 months old baby boys.

“So who should I kill first?  I know little baby Seth,” said Sacroslice as he picked up Seth and started to sing, “rock a-bye baby in the tree top stab stab stab stab stab stab as you fill down from the tree tops.”

No, no, my baby, you killed my baby!!” sobbed Seth’s mum as she got to her feet and run at Sacroslice. “You sadistic waste of space, I’m going to beat you into a pulp even if it’s the last thing I do!”

“It’s time to meet your maker. Mary, say hello to God for me,”said Sacroslice as he stabbed her.

 

Meanwhile at SAS HQ … “All right men, we need to figure out a way to get into Sacroslice’s safe house and rescue the hostages, He’s a high priority target, we don’t know a lot about him but we do know that he’s an ex-marine and is a black belt in both Judo and karate and is an expert at boobytraps.”

 

29 hours later…

“Are we all clear on what we’re doing?” yelled Corporal Hock.

“Sir, yes sir.”

“Go go go”

Suddenly everything descended into complete and utter pandomonium as machine guns roared into life and it became like it was raining down led from above. Almost half of the SAS men, including Corporal Hock, were killed in the opening seconds of the battle. Finally the machineguns were silenced and they were able to make their way into the house which was where they found Sacroslice and the hostages and the two bodies.

 

“I see that you found have me. Aren’t you clever boys then, but you shouldn’t have came here because you have done the very opposite of what you want to do. Oh… and PS. I’ve put explosives on  two of my lovely hostages here so don’t even think about harming me in anyway. We’ll all go down in smoke still. Now that we are all on the same page it’s time to make my demands: I want 2 million pounds in a tax free bank account, a solid gold AK47, 4 million pounds worth of uncut diamonds  and an Airbus A380 in  excahnge for me not killing any more hostages,” “demanded Sacroslice.

“What if we do not give you all these things? Will you blow us up” asked Seargent Harry Rar. “You just signed your death warrants you idiot. PS this is a hologram of me aufidersen Jackass.”

 

And with that Sacroslice flicked the switch. Four kgs of C4 plastic explosives went off.

 

“Breaking News… after a one hour long battle that ended in defeat for the SAS, the mass murderer Sacroslicel is still on the loose.

 

THE MAN

The Man

In a remote corner of Russia, in a nuclear power plant called Chernobyl, a man called Herman Montgomery was taking the night shift. But a massive nuclear explosion exposed him to masses of radiation, which caused him to mutate into a fearsome creature . Herman Montgomery now called himself The Man. He roamed around the Russian  countryside for years. Until the year 2014 dun dun!!!

 

After the explosion of chernobyl, I roamed around the Russian countryside

then i decided to go back to New Zealand. I was going back to Wellington  and to my old home Karori and to my old school to become a teacher. Two months later i got to Wellington i had to stowaway in a ship filled with caviar bound for Wellington. I made my to Karori when i got there

a taill of Donld Trump

Mountains will crumble, cities will fall, fires will flicker, the earth shall be engulfed in smoke and so ends the reign of

Donald the terrible otherwise known as Donald trump. He massacred the Mexicans and murdered he clintons and poisoned

The Obamas. In 2016 mr trump was made president of the USA or as it’s now known

Trump land. He renamed New York and Washington, D.C. As they are now called new trump

And trumping ton DT. He started a nuclear war with the Russians. The Russians destroyed trump land armed forces

We were freed from his tyrannical rule in 2018 when he was murdered by chuck Norris. Rip, rest in poo, dear Donald Trump.

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